Gallivanting Grammy

I’m making a public apology to my kids right here.  You drew the short straw.  At least, when it comes to being the regular babysitter for the grandkids.

My mom wasn’t exactly keen on the babysitting thing either.  But, then, I was not exactly keen on her babysitting them.  Walking through the door and seeing her laying hands on them trying to exorcise the demons didn’t make me feel all warm and fuzzy.

We lived hundreds of miles apart....for good reason.

The fact is I love my two grandkids and I know I’ll adore the one coming in August.  As every grandparent can attest, they are the smartest, cutest, funniest, most precious little people in the world.  Not everybody is fortunate to be a grandparent.  I consider myself blessed.

I was thinking the other day about how many years of my adult life I have been married.  Out of 45 years, I’ve been married twice for a total of 17 years.  I’ve raised three children primarily on my own for over 44 of those years.  The question there is when does parenting officially end???  NEVER!  

I probably should consider that parenting never ceases; but ending financial support should bring independence that transforms the adult-child relationship into an adult-adult relationship.  What a rich experience.  I missed having that with my own parents even though I never depended on them for a dime but that’s a whole other ball of wax.

My adult life revolved around raising children and working...just like most people.  Except that I did a lot of it solo and my traveling was primarily to visit family and friends.  My choice.  I don’t regret any of it.

Now, I want the freedom to travel to bridge tournaments all over the country or to travel to Ireland or Italy or lay out on a Caribbean beach.  I want to be able to love my winter life in Florida sans guilt.  I want to write with abandon about what life is really like at my age.

A few weeks ago, my daughter and grandson flew to Florida to spend a few days with us.  How he’d changed in just three months!  A five year old you can converse with, especially, if it’s related to superheroes or sports.  A whirlwind of activity that included Siesta Key on a windy, cool day...no problem for him, though...running in an out of the water chasing seagulls, hunting for shells and building castles.

A day at Disney World was preceded by him throwing up in the backseat...should we go or turn around and go home?  Nope, gotta go, he insisted.  Maybe he was just excited.  My Disney exec cousin got us fast lane tickets....I will forever be indebted!!!  At the end of the day, he met his great aunts, uncles, second and third cousins...for the first time.  On the way home, we asked him what his favorite thing was about the day.  “Everything,” was his immediate response.

The next day, we went to see the Orioles play Toronto at a spring training game in Sarasota.  One of the best games I ever saw....O’s down by three runs in the bottom of the ninth, two outs, three men on and Ryan Flaherty hits the home run that wins the game.  A storybook ending?  Ya think?  It got even better when one of the O’s gave him a game ball as we were leaving.  

On his last night, we set him up to watch college basketball....University of Massachusetts against Butler.  He has to have a team to root for so his mom told him we wanted UMass to win because that’s where Grandpa Jim lives.  “Good,” he says, “ I couldn’t cheer for a team that has ‘butt’ in it.”  Five year old humor, except that he was dead serious.

Yeah...I admit it, I’m a Gallivanting Grammy who loves to travel to tournaments and concerts, especially, if there’s an Allman headliner.  I’ll never forget those wine tastings in Sonoma or the Heritage Fest in New Orleans.  I want to keep doing it as long as I can.

Hmmm...you need me to babysit this weekend?  Of course, I’ll be there!!



 

Who Knew?

Who knew being an ancient adolescent would turn out to be one of the best times in life?  When I was in my 20s or 30s, it always seemed like being a senior was years and years away...and I really dreaded being OLD.  Bur, now, I think...what defines OLD?

I don’t feel old.  I feel pretty damn good really.  I have plenty of energy and my mind hasn’t decided to vacate yet...hoping that sudoku and playing bridge save my marbles for a few years.  One side of my family is rampant with dementia, the other side has stayed pretty with it well into their 80s.

Is 80 old?  My aunt is as funny and delightful at 80 as she was at 20 so I don’t see her as old.  I’m sure if I make it to 80, I won’t see myself as old either.  It’s funny how no matter how I age, I still feel like I’m so much younger...like in my 30s.

Believe it or not, there are huge perks to being a senior.  I know, unlike many boomers, I was lucky enough to opt for a career that still has a pension.  Tons of boomers started in careers that held the promise of pensions but that promise eroded over the years.  Pubic service, however, has maintained its promise to its workers.  Although I never had a huge salary as a teacher and later a principal, my pension is decent and can support a modest lifestyle.

I have been able to retire.  Retirement opens a world of freedom I have never experienced.  I go to bed when I want, I get up when I want.  I can play bridge or go to the beach or landscape the yard or read a book or go to a movie.  I have the freedom to do the things I could never do when I was working.

If you like the movies, go to AMC on Tuesday.  Seniors only pay $6.  For an extra $5, there’s a Senior Special here in Venice where you get a very small popcorn and soda.
I can’t watch a movie without eating popcorn but the sizes are way too big for someone who eschews American portion sizes. The caveat is finding a movie you actually want to see.  Our last movie was Oz and next week we’ll see Dustin Hoffman’s directing debut, Quartet.  Pretty cheap date, right?

Have you ever tried Great Clips?  It’s a walk-in hair salon that features a $9 cut for seniors on Tuesdays.  For years, I went to chic salons and paid through the nose for a haircut....like $75 including tip.  Really!  I had to have highlights to hide the gray...another $200.  Then, there were years when I was doing the Japanese straightening process to get rid of those natural waves.  I won’t even tell you how much that was!  Now, I just find someone I like at Great Clips and voila!  Done, at a fraction of the cost!  Hey, it’s hair.  It’ll grow out if you don’t like it!

We love to go out to eat but that can destroy a budget, so we try to only go out twice a week and...duh....for the Early Bird Specials.  I love those things!  I actually like to eat between 5 and 6, so it works for me!  We usually split a dinner....again, portions are way too much for one person!  Plus, we’re cheap.  Ya think??!!

OMG!  The Happy Hours here are CRAZY!  Believe it or not, some of these places have happy hours from 3 to 7!  Half price, all you can eat appetizers.  Not kidding...you could get real happy here!

When we travel, we always take advantage of the senior rate.  Here’s my plan.  First, I go to Hotels.com or some other travel website to see what their rates are.  I find the hotel then go on their website to see if the senior rate is cheaper.  It usually is.  Booked!

So far, the greatest perk for me is being healthy and active!  I’ve got my quirks like high cholesterol, so I take my minimum Lipitor daily dosage.  I’ve got osteoarthritis,which I fight everyday with 200 milligrams of ibuprofen and a daily 55 minute workout.  It’s a battle but I do it, because I could turn into a slug in a heartbeat!

Besides, would Buff Honey want a sloppy slug?  Would I?  No!

Time is a luxury I never had.  How fun it is to visit friends I rarely get to see!  How sweet it is to have someone in my life I love after 17 years without it!

I hope this ancient adolescent lasts a long, long time!  Who knew??

A New Life

Life is invariably imbued with twists.  On January 1st, I met my honey in Venice to begin our four month winter stay in a condo overlooking a golf course that was home to Sandhill cranes, a protected species.  I quickly learned why they are protected.

They have the most obnoxious sound I’ve ever heard....not the little sweet tweet tweet associated with birds.  Oh no, they squawk and honk at the top of their lungs, startling us out of a deep sleep at the crack of dawn accompanying the daily lawnmowers manicuring the greens.  And they are HUGE!  About four feet tall and they walk like they own the streets.  So much for the idyllic state I had imagined living on a golf course.

Buff Man was considering buying a home in Florida and living there half the year. Naturally, that was fine with me...returning to my home state after 40 plus years was more than appealing.  But, what did we know about the market?  We’re both planners and thought the most intelligent way to approach this was to spend the next four months figuring out the southwest Florida market and then to make a decision.

The first week in January was so warm, we were trying out different beaches practically everyday, watching the electric sunsets, playing bridge, experimenting with local food and music.  Basically, just kicking back and loving our new life in the South.

Simultaneously, we were rabidly reading the real estate ads and attending open houses.  We narrowed our search, eliminating Sarasota, St. Pete, Tampa....way too overdeveloped.  We longed for less traffic, more of the old, natural Florida....short of entertaining snakes and alligators in our backyard.

We wanted a pool and lanai, enough bedrooms so our children and grandchildren could visit, an open floor plan...no formal dining room or formal living room...no wasted space.  We didn’t want to back to houses and, most importantly, it had to have a southwestern exposure so we could have great natural light.  Not too much to ask, right?

I have no idea how many homes we saw....definitely more than two dozen.  Evidently, there’s a real shortage of inventory down here, especially, for all of our high maintenance requirements.  And, especially, in our price range.  The Tampa Tribune was writing daily stories about how the boomers are loosening their pocketbooks and buying up the market.  Hmmm...sounds familiar.

On one of our drives around Venice, we found a new home development building its last stage.  We walked into the model.  Perfect for us.  They were in the final stage of building the same model as a spec home and it was two weeks from closing.  We went to see it....backs to woods, met the neighbors...another retired couple like us from Michigan.  Cheerleaders for Stoneybrook.  Loved it from the day they moved in.

Who wouldn’t like the spa and pool and the beautiful tiled floors throughout the house?  No carpet.  Yes!  The master bedroom and bath were great size with two walk in closets.  The other bedrooms and baths were on the opposite end of the house.  The great room encompassed the kitchen....best kitchen I’ve ever seen.

It was not a 55 and over development....lots of families, schools nearby.  The community center had a great fitness room, huge junior olympic sized pool, tot lots, tennis courts, basketball courts.  It was replete with preserved, natural areas with ponds, herons, egrets, gators and....yes, Sandhill cranes.  Haven’t seen the gators yet but the neighbor showed me a picture of two that she named Ed and Fred.

And, yes, it faced southwest.  My love had never owned a new house in his life and it was clear that he was smitten.  The negotiations commenced, ending in a contract closing two and a half weeks later.  Ten days after we got here, we had a house.

All that careful planning....renting a condo for four months, learning the market, taking our time to make a decision....done.  We could’ve furnished the house for what the condo cost us for four months.  Oh well....too late for that.  So, if you’re coming this way and you need a place to stay, we have a condo to share for a little while longer.

So, on January 10th, life took a major turn.  We came here with a few clothes for a Florida winter and in two weeks, we were moving into a house.  OMG!!!  Where to start?  Practically every waking minute was spent looking for furniture, buying stuff online, heading out to Bed, Bath & Beyond sales.  I became a huge fan of Costco, Walmart and Big Lots!

We rented the Home Depot truck to load boxes of furniture from Costco...dining room table and eight chairs, sofa, lounger, king bed, end tables, bureau.  We had stuff stored in our condo, our agent’s garage and a storage locker.  Moving day came on January 31st and for $9 an hour, we rented the truck at Value Storage and started our new life.

I reflect fondly on our first week of beach walks and sunsets...I’m hoping to get back there...maybe, next week.