Ir’s a sad day….our last day in Baltimore. Arose early to take my nearly two year old grandson, Kevin, to day care. Our last trip together on the highway to talk about “big trucks,” “green dump trucks,” “car carriers” and “tanker trucks.” How is it that boys are so fascinated by these things?
Next, I picked up his mommy and little brother to meet his uncle and soon to be aunt at the Southside Diner for a yummy breakfast…and I don’t even like breakfast! How fun to just have the luxury of eating and talking with them and holding my biracial month old grandson who looks all Irish with big, blue eyes. Just like Forrest Gump said, “Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re going to get!”
Last night, BH and I and some of our combined families met for an early dinner at Nick’s Fish House on the water….long picnic tables in an outdoor setting that easily accommodated our 11 adults and 7 children. Carrying on a conversation with 7 children under the of 7 was challenging, to say the least! But, we’ve all been there. We don’t get to really talk with each other….like BH’s daughter remarked, “It’s parallel play” as we mostly run around chasing the kids on the docks and knocking down an occasional sip of beer and noshing on the run. But, God knows, I love being there with them.
We’ve toasted the town…BH much more than me as I broke my toe the first day here and found out I’m pretty much out of luck for six weeks. But, while I can’t walk for miles and miles which BH loves to do (and I don’t), we’ve done our share. We’re only two blocks from the famous Inner Harbor and have explored the National Aquarium, dined at Amicci’s in Little Italy and taken in multiple Orioles games and even did the Camden Yards tour. The best part? Sitting in the dugout and catching a glimpse of those luxurious club seats.
Okay…I’m not going to miss this dingy townhouse and I’m not going to miss walking a few blocks away and passing a drunk or two passed out on the sidewalk. When I was much younger, I lived and worked in a city…not as large as Baltimore but with the same urban issues…and I never felt fear. Of course, i don’t live with much fear to begin with but I was off the charts naive. And, now, forty years later, I actually felt vulnerable. I don’t have the moxie aka balls I had then. I walked alone like I owned the street. If anyone confronted me, I confronted them right back! I look back on that and think ‘what was I thinking?’ Somehow, I survived it all.
Living closer to my children and grandchildren has given me pause. Yes, I love our life in Florida and when we’re in Maryland, we’re not terribly far from the city. But, truth be told, I really miss them being in my daily life. However, they are all adults now, living the lives they’re supposed to be living and I imagine I’m living the life I’m supposed to be living.
I’m going to miss my girl that I’ve seen everyday for the past three weeks. When I took her home this morning, I swear I caught a tear in her eye….matching the tear in mine.
Thursday, June 25, 2015
Tuesday, June 16, 2015
Talkin' Race
I surmise that by now we’ve all heard of Rachel Dolezal…the ex-NAACP leader from Spokane, Washington. The white woman who ID’s herself as black. Not exactly a ‘black’ name but then names are hardly the entire story. Nothing like being outed by your white parents who happened to adopt four black kids. Well….what did they think could happen? It seems to me she just over-identified with her siblings. And, so what??? A lot of worse things are happening in the world.
The sad thing is that she felt she had to be black to be part of the leadership in the NAACP. And, maybe that’s the reality but I was pretty heartened to see their statement:
“For 106 years, the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People has held a long and proud tradition of receiving support from people of all faiths, races, colors and creeds.
'NAACP Spokane Washington Branch President Rachel Dolezal is enduring a legal issue with her family, and we respect her privacy in this matter. One's racial identity is not a qualifying criteria or disqualifying standard for NAACP leadership. The NAACP Alaska-Oregon-Washington State Conference stands behind Ms. Dolezal's advocacy record.
'In every corner of this country, the NAACP remains committed to securing political, educational, and economic justice for all people, and we encourage Americans of all stripes to become members and serve as leaders in our organization.”
I have to say I can relate to Rachel in some ways. I’ve always had a propensity to root for the underdog, the disenfranchised, the lower rungs of the hierarchy. I married out of my race and lived in neighborhoods and worked in schools where I was the token white person. But, I will say I think it would be ridiculous for me with my green eyes and blonde now white hair to try to pass as black….traits Rachel shares.
And so the question now is integrity and honesty. Really, Rachel, did you think you’d never be outed???!! There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being white and fighting for justice for all people.
I remember when my two biracial children were very young and we’d ask them how they identified themselves. My daughter with her light skin, pert nose and curly black hair always said ‘mixed.’ And, God knows, she is that…..African, Danish, Irish, German, English, Native American. My son, on the other hand, saw himself as black. “Why?” I asked. “Look at me” was his response. He was darker with tight curly hair but with a European nose….my grandmother’s contribution. But, as an adult, with his full beard that his father would’ve died for and his black hair, he actually looks Middle Eastern. And, now that they’re starting to have children, things get really interesting in terms of identification.
One of my close friends also has biracial granddaughters and she asked them about how they identify. The younger one at age 11 sees herself as ‘mixed,’ while the 14 year old about to enter high school sees herself as black. Why? “Because black is cool,” she says.
Is that what Rachel Doleful was thinking? “Black is cool”!? God, I hope not. But, she obviously thought she couldn't accomplish her goals, including being a professor of African Studies, without altering her racial identification.
And that is what our history has brought us. An unhealthy emphasis on race and our ability or inability to transcend it. I was raised in the South when Jim Crow laws ruled and now we elected a black President and our country is moving rapidly toward a majority minority. In 1950, the US had a 10% minority population and now we are close to 40%.
With each succeeding generation, my hope is that the emphasis we place on race will lessen. In my own family, I know it has. My kids really didn’t get the significance of our country electing the first black president. He was just another politician warts and all. Their world solely isn’t black and white. It’s far more nuanced than that.
Thank God!!!
The sad thing is that she felt she had to be black to be part of the leadership in the NAACP. And, maybe that’s the reality but I was pretty heartened to see their statement:
“For 106 years, the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People has held a long and proud tradition of receiving support from people of all faiths, races, colors and creeds.
'NAACP Spokane Washington Branch President Rachel Dolezal is enduring a legal issue with her family, and we respect her privacy in this matter. One's racial identity is not a qualifying criteria or disqualifying standard for NAACP leadership. The NAACP Alaska-Oregon-Washington State Conference stands behind Ms. Dolezal's advocacy record.
'In every corner of this country, the NAACP remains committed to securing political, educational, and economic justice for all people, and we encourage Americans of all stripes to become members and serve as leaders in our organization.”
I have to say I can relate to Rachel in some ways. I’ve always had a propensity to root for the underdog, the disenfranchised, the lower rungs of the hierarchy. I married out of my race and lived in neighborhoods and worked in schools where I was the token white person. But, I will say I think it would be ridiculous for me with my green eyes and blonde now white hair to try to pass as black….traits Rachel shares.
And so the question now is integrity and honesty. Really, Rachel, did you think you’d never be outed???!! There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being white and fighting for justice for all people.
I remember when my two biracial children were very young and we’d ask them how they identified themselves. My daughter with her light skin, pert nose and curly black hair always said ‘mixed.’ And, God knows, she is that…..African, Danish, Irish, German, English, Native American. My son, on the other hand, saw himself as black. “Why?” I asked. “Look at me” was his response. He was darker with tight curly hair but with a European nose….my grandmother’s contribution. But, as an adult, with his full beard that his father would’ve died for and his black hair, he actually looks Middle Eastern. And, now that they’re starting to have children, things get really interesting in terms of identification.
One of my close friends also has biracial granddaughters and she asked them about how they identify. The younger one at age 11 sees herself as ‘mixed,’ while the 14 year old about to enter high school sees herself as black. Why? “Because black is cool,” she says.
Is that what Rachel Doleful was thinking? “Black is cool”!? God, I hope not. But, she obviously thought she couldn't accomplish her goals, including being a professor of African Studies, without altering her racial identification.
And that is what our history has brought us. An unhealthy emphasis on race and our ability or inability to transcend it. I was raised in the South when Jim Crow laws ruled and now we elected a black President and our country is moving rapidly toward a majority minority. In 1950, the US had a 10% minority population and now we are close to 40%.
With each succeeding generation, my hope is that the emphasis we place on race will lessen. In my own family, I know it has. My kids really didn’t get the significance of our country electing the first black president. He was just another politician warts and all. Their world solely isn’t black and white. It’s far more nuanced than that.
Thank God!!!
Sunday, June 7, 2015
Temp Time
Buff Honey wants to live in various cities for a month during the summer until he is nearing feebleness. This year it’s Baltimore, next year New York and then Toronto. I’m fine with this, although I do not love walking for miles on end as he does. I’m fine with walking to restaurants, bars and the local CVS. We want to soak up the unique culture of each place.
In February, I started looking on Craigslist and the local ListServe for our Baltimore rental. I definitely wanted to be close to my daughter and her family, including my newest grandson so I could help out in whatever way she needed. The pickings were slim and temp rentals are crazy expensive. My daughter got a response from a neighbor a block away, who would be on vacation for three weeks in June. The price was right and the location even better.
She checked it out and said it was fine. We moved in Friday afternoon. Well, I am here to tell you, it is not fine. BH’s Olney house is a mansion in comparison. This is a house that HGTV would love to get their hands on. It’s a brick row house in a beautiful neighborhood one block from the Orioles ball park. Great curb appeal. And that’s about it. The interior needs a complete makeover….floors, bathrooms, kitchen, bedrooms….you name it, it needs it.
The kitchen is the size of a half bath and every inch of counter space is taken up with appliances that don’t even work. Papers and old mail abound. The miniature pantry is full to overflowing and the cabinet doors don’t close. There’s not an iota of space on the refrigerator door, which is covered by pictures, magnets and papers. The sink’s faucet is coming apart.
I have no inspiration to cook anyway but this gives me even more excuses. Where would I put any food anyway?
The sofa in the living room isn’t at all comfortable for anyone over 5 feet tall, so it’s fine for me but where’s BH going to hang out? The lighting isn’t bright enough to read by so we’re going to have to bring in some lamps. The deck is great, bright with rocking chairs for us to sit outside with coffee and newspapers. However, the jerry rigged screen in front of the sliding glass doors isn’t fooling any of the local flies. There’s a big step down from the deck into the living room, which i neglected to remember and dropped my Kindle on my fourth toe, which I’ve been icing all day, hoping I’ll be able to walk tomorrow.
The air conditioning works, which is great, because the handles to open the windows are broken. There are no empty drawers in the bedroom, which the owner promised we would have. So, now we have piled up our clothes on a couch outside the bedroom.
I think I’m a spoiled brat. Obviously, environment plays a major role here. I need order, empty countertops, clean lines. I’m not a neat freak but I can’t think clearly when there are chotskies aka generally useless crap of little or no value everywhere. It makes me crazy.
So, now we’re here for three weeks. I love the location. The king bed is so comfortable I’d like to take it home with me. I’ll spend a lot of time reading on the deck. I’m hoping my toe will heal fast enough, so I can walk without making ugly faces every time I take a step.
The next time we do this, we’ll go through VRBO or Airbnb or find a Residence Inn in the middle of a city. I should’ve insisted on pictures. This was a family with three boys graciously offering their home, although truth be known I would never have offered this one if it was mine. We now think maybe a month is too long. Two weeks should be sufficient.
In the meantime, I think I’m going to grab some boxes, clear off the counters and haul them off to the basement. And I thought I wasn’t high maintenance!
In February, I started looking on Craigslist and the local ListServe for our Baltimore rental. I definitely wanted to be close to my daughter and her family, including my newest grandson so I could help out in whatever way she needed. The pickings were slim and temp rentals are crazy expensive. My daughter got a response from a neighbor a block away, who would be on vacation for three weeks in June. The price was right and the location even better.
She checked it out and said it was fine. We moved in Friday afternoon. Well, I am here to tell you, it is not fine. BH’s Olney house is a mansion in comparison. This is a house that HGTV would love to get their hands on. It’s a brick row house in a beautiful neighborhood one block from the Orioles ball park. Great curb appeal. And that’s about it. The interior needs a complete makeover….floors, bathrooms, kitchen, bedrooms….you name it, it needs it.
The kitchen is the size of a half bath and every inch of counter space is taken up with appliances that don’t even work. Papers and old mail abound. The miniature pantry is full to overflowing and the cabinet doors don’t close. There’s not an iota of space on the refrigerator door, which is covered by pictures, magnets and papers. The sink’s faucet is coming apart.
I have no inspiration to cook anyway but this gives me even more excuses. Where would I put any food anyway?
The sofa in the living room isn’t at all comfortable for anyone over 5 feet tall, so it’s fine for me but where’s BH going to hang out? The lighting isn’t bright enough to read by so we’re going to have to bring in some lamps. The deck is great, bright with rocking chairs for us to sit outside with coffee and newspapers. However, the jerry rigged screen in front of the sliding glass doors isn’t fooling any of the local flies. There’s a big step down from the deck into the living room, which i neglected to remember and dropped my Kindle on my fourth toe, which I’ve been icing all day, hoping I’ll be able to walk tomorrow.
The air conditioning works, which is great, because the handles to open the windows are broken. There are no empty drawers in the bedroom, which the owner promised we would have. So, now we have piled up our clothes on a couch outside the bedroom.
I think I’m a spoiled brat. Obviously, environment plays a major role here. I need order, empty countertops, clean lines. I’m not a neat freak but I can’t think clearly when there are chotskies aka generally useless crap of little or no value everywhere. It makes me crazy.
So, now we’re here for three weeks. I love the location. The king bed is so comfortable I’d like to take it home with me. I’ll spend a lot of time reading on the deck. I’m hoping my toe will heal fast enough, so I can walk without making ugly faces every time I take a step.
The next time we do this, we’ll go through VRBO or Airbnb or find a Residence Inn in the middle of a city. I should’ve insisted on pictures. This was a family with three boys graciously offering their home, although truth be known I would never have offered this one if it was mine. We now think maybe a month is too long. Two weeks should be sufficient.
In the meantime, I think I’m going to grab some boxes, clear off the counters and haul them off to the basement. And I thought I wasn’t high maintenance!
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)