Just what the doctor ordered…a week long cruise in the Caribbean. Of course, BH & I had planned this long before my mom’s sudden passing. Can you call it a sudden passing if she was practically 93? Anyway, I cannot tell you how perfectly timed this trip was, especially, after all the drama associated with my mother’s estate.
Yes, she named my niece as the executor. My niece has seen her exactly once in her life. But, she orchestrated that “Christian” card to a tee (she’s Jewish). My mom’s house is now a “Christian” retreat for the next seven years….no smoking and drinking allowed. Control from the grave. That’s my mom!
Anyway, taking off on that Royal Caribbean floating hotel/city was the perfect antidote to this chaos. Both of us had been on exactly one previous cruise and I can tell you it was nothing like this! Harmony of the Seas is the Cadillac of cruise ships. Early on, we signed up for an ocean view room with a balcony. Heaven.
Did I mention it was a regional bridge tournament? Of course, that’s why we originally enrolled. We could get lessons, play three times a day and still have time to enjoy the amazing amenities.
There were over 20 restaurants, many of which were “free.” There were also high end options, which we did not take advantage of. On the Boardwalk, there was a Johnny Rockets, which you had to pay extra for. WHAT??!! Pay extra?! Hey, I love hamburgers, hot dogs, and fries but I am NOT playing extra for that, when I can get fresh salads, fabulous entrees like salmon, filet mignon, and chicken cordon bleu for free! I was pleasantly surprised at how many healthy choices there were….if I could’ve just stuck to that, but those desserts were soooo tempting!
Needless to say, I ingested way more than my allotted 1000 calories per day. That’s just the food. The drinks were another thing. When we first got on board, people were lining up in droves for the “drink package.” We had no clue what was going on. You cannot get a soda on board unless you get the package. Neither of us drink sodas so we weren’t fazed by that. But, if you wanted soda and alcohol, well, that was a whopping $60 a day! I admit, I like my glass of red wine, but I’d have to drink at least 5 glasses to break even. Good thing, we’d carried a bottle on board in the suitcase.
Speaking of suitcases, I had never in my life seen the amount of luggage these cruisers were bringing on board. We’re light travelers. One week. Both of our clothes and toiletries fit into one small suitcase, including the wine. There are formal dress nights, which people take very seriously! One of the Royal Theatre nights required everybody to dress up in white. Our wardrobes were a bit more simple….casual shirts, shorts and sandals.
Most nights, we’d relax in the Jazz Club after our night games with a glass of wine and amazing entertainment. The Aqua Show was good, not great but the Comedy Club was hilarious. Best Trump imitation I’ve ever seen….the voice was perfect!
Our stop in St. Maarten’s didn’t last long….it took us almost an hour to get off the boat and by then, our tour and trip to Pinel Island was long gone. Oh well….what to do? Get back on, get our money back and play bridge. The land and sea tour of San Juan was well worth it….informative and entertaining. Got to walk on the beach and got a pineapple coconut smoothie. Delicious. Never got off the ship at the Royal Caribbean private beach at Labadee, Haiti. Decided to let everyone else get off so we could enjoy some hot tub time without the hordes.
The logistics of this ship are overwhelming! Over 7000 passengers and 2000 employees! Not one glitch….everything was “smooth sailing” the entire week. I would love to see a documentary on a cruise line. We were in awe.
And was it worth it? Well, we didn’t get to any of the bridge lessons which were offered daily at 9 in the morning. Too early for us lazy bumpkins who stayed up late to enjoy a nightcap on our balcony. However, we did win three events which added 60 master points to our totals. Those are the most master points we’ve ever won at any tournament.
So, yeah, it was definitely worth it….so worth it we’ve signed up for two more regionals at sea in 2019! We’re a little late to this party…gotta make up for lost time!
Thursday, October 18, 2018
Thursday, October 4, 2018
Moving On
I know losing your mom, even if she was less than three weeks from turning 93, can be a tumultuous experience. And, I will say I was pretty stunned when her friend and neighbor called me two weeks ago to say she couldn’t get my mom to answer the door or phone.
When I got that call and saw the area code, I immediately said to BH, “This can’t be good.” And it wasn’t. Giving my permission to the deputy sheriff to break into the house, I waited for what seemed like an eternity to hear what I already knew. She was gone.
My mom outlived my father by three years and her father by six months. There’s a lot of longevity in our family. My aunt and I were convinced she’d live to be 100. The woman allegedly never had an ache, which goes to show you I definitely didn’t get that gene. Nor did my sister, since we’re both having structural issues due to childhood scoliosis.
My mom never had a serious illness like cancer or diabetes. A doctor performed annual checkups mainly to monitor her blood pressure…the only prescription drug she ever took. She was never overweight, maintained social contacts such as they were since she outlived all of her peers.
She drove a PT Cruiser which she kept in immaculate condition. Her mechanic told my brother that she brought the car in once because she kept hearing a ‘ping’ noise. It was her cell phone, which she kept in the glove compartment but never used. My mom hated technology. But, amazingly, she was a really good driver, Her last solo trip to Florida was only two years ago.
The past 30+ years, she lived in a very small town and that’s a generous assessment. Basically, there was the Asbury Methodist Church, the cemetery, the fire department, a community center, a Mexican restaurant and the post office. Everything else has gone out of business.
But, she was definitely well known there. Miss Grace. She met her neighbors at the Cupboard for breakfast every Wednesday morning, taught piano lessons a couple of days a week, sent birthday cards to literally every member of the family even those living in Pakistan. She kept a running log of who called daily and brief notes about the day’s events.
Mostly, she prayed and read the Bible, noting names next to passages she read on their birthdays. She considered herself ‘born again’ and was very dogmatic in her beliefs about who was a ‘real’ Christian. (I was not.)
She had been a faithful subscriber to the American Free Press, the paper that uplifts white nationalists and antisemitic beliefs. It supports innumerable conspiracy theories and she believed every one. She considered that paper to be the “real news.’
She considered herself to believe in the importance of families, but she played her three children against one another for years. She changed her will numerous times depending on
who was the favored child. I was out of the running a long time ago. Once, I told her I’d been on the phone with my brother and she said, “What are you talking to him for?” I refused to hear family gossip.
It took me decades to accept the fact that I was never going to have the unconditional love a child expects from a parent. I had to accept she was never going to apologize for her abusive treatment of her children. My brother once confronted her about that and her response was “I don’t have to apologize. The Lord knows my heart.”
So, I learned to swallow my instinct to confront her, after I had tried many times to explain my side of things. All attempts were dismissed out of hand so I moved on. When I visited her, which was much more often than my siblings, we did things we enjoyed together….picnicking on top of Black Rock Mountain, shopping in Highlands, dining at Mountain Man Barbecue, and devoting ice cream sundaes at the Creamery.
Of course, there is a sadness that she is gone. This was the most difficult relationship of my entire lifetime. I struggled for years to find peace with it and I did. Not everyone is blessed with the milk and cookies kind of mom.
What I do know is that I found my inner strength and resolved to love her the best way I could. Her failures as a mom inspired me to be a better mom for my own beautiful children. God knows, I missed the mark many times, but I was determined to allow them to grow up to be their own people.
What I do know is that I adore my family and we support and love each other without reservation and conditions. There is no drama….ever.
So, now, my mom has moved on to the afterlife and I have moved on with my life. Wonder what she’ll say when I visit my medium at Cassadaga? Now, that ought to be interesting!
When I got that call and saw the area code, I immediately said to BH, “This can’t be good.” And it wasn’t. Giving my permission to the deputy sheriff to break into the house, I waited for what seemed like an eternity to hear what I already knew. She was gone.
My mom outlived my father by three years and her father by six months. There’s a lot of longevity in our family. My aunt and I were convinced she’d live to be 100. The woman allegedly never had an ache, which goes to show you I definitely didn’t get that gene. Nor did my sister, since we’re both having structural issues due to childhood scoliosis.
My mom never had a serious illness like cancer or diabetes. A doctor performed annual checkups mainly to monitor her blood pressure…the only prescription drug she ever took. She was never overweight, maintained social contacts such as they were since she outlived all of her peers.
She drove a PT Cruiser which she kept in immaculate condition. Her mechanic told my brother that she brought the car in once because she kept hearing a ‘ping’ noise. It was her cell phone, which she kept in the glove compartment but never used. My mom hated technology. But, amazingly, she was a really good driver, Her last solo trip to Florida was only two years ago.
The past 30+ years, she lived in a very small town and that’s a generous assessment. Basically, there was the Asbury Methodist Church, the cemetery, the fire department, a community center, a Mexican restaurant and the post office. Everything else has gone out of business.
But, she was definitely well known there. Miss Grace. She met her neighbors at the Cupboard for breakfast every Wednesday morning, taught piano lessons a couple of days a week, sent birthday cards to literally every member of the family even those living in Pakistan. She kept a running log of who called daily and brief notes about the day’s events.
Mostly, she prayed and read the Bible, noting names next to passages she read on their birthdays. She considered herself ‘born again’ and was very dogmatic in her beliefs about who was a ‘real’ Christian. (I was not.)
She had been a faithful subscriber to the American Free Press, the paper that uplifts white nationalists and antisemitic beliefs. It supports innumerable conspiracy theories and she believed every one. She considered that paper to be the “real news.’
She considered herself to believe in the importance of families, but she played her three children against one another for years. She changed her will numerous times depending on
who was the favored child. I was out of the running a long time ago. Once, I told her I’d been on the phone with my brother and she said, “What are you talking to him for?” I refused to hear family gossip.
It took me decades to accept the fact that I was never going to have the unconditional love a child expects from a parent. I had to accept she was never going to apologize for her abusive treatment of her children. My brother once confronted her about that and her response was “I don’t have to apologize. The Lord knows my heart.”
So, I learned to swallow my instinct to confront her, after I had tried many times to explain my side of things. All attempts were dismissed out of hand so I moved on. When I visited her, which was much more often than my siblings, we did things we enjoyed together….picnicking on top of Black Rock Mountain, shopping in Highlands, dining at Mountain Man Barbecue, and devoting ice cream sundaes at the Creamery.
Of course, there is a sadness that she is gone. This was the most difficult relationship of my entire lifetime. I struggled for years to find peace with it and I did. Not everyone is blessed with the milk and cookies kind of mom.
What I do know is that I found my inner strength and resolved to love her the best way I could. Her failures as a mom inspired me to be a better mom for my own beautiful children. God knows, I missed the mark many times, but I was determined to allow them to grow up to be their own people.
What I do know is that I adore my family and we support and love each other without reservation and conditions. There is no drama….ever.
So, now, my mom has moved on to the afterlife and I have moved on with my life. Wonder what she’ll say when I visit my medium at Cassadaga? Now, that ought to be interesting!
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