On August 11th, my youngest had her first baby. My third grandchild. Weeks of anticipation...lots of Braxton Hicks contractions. Every day I thought would be the day. She was ready. I was ready. The baby’s daddy was ready. But, the baby wasn’t.
Last year on Christmas Day, we gathered at my home for brunch...the usual biscuits, ham, bacon, eggs, pancakes. When my youngest descended, she couldn’t wait to start scarfing down bacon. Very strange for a committed vegetarian.
“Bacon?!" I gasped. We gathered around the old oak table and she quietly announced she was preggers. She started crying, I was crying. We’re all hugging each other. It was quite a moment. “I can’t get enough meat,” she laughed.
She’s always been a naturalist, an environmentalist. She’s strong willed with good values. She’s reserved but you’ll never have to guess about how she feels about something. She broke off one relationship because he didn’t support gay marriage.
In high school, her homecoming date broke the date because his parents threatened to leave him out of their will if he took her. There was nothing romantic; just good friends. A bonding of geeks, I would call it really.
She’s biracial; he’s Jewish. They were both raised in Columbia, Maryland: the most integrated, multi-ethnic, multi-racial community in this country. It was deliberately founded by developer Jim Rouse to accomplish this very unusual goal back in 1970.
Whatever esteem she had for him was diminished considerably after that. “Why not stand up to your parents? They’re obviously wrong.” Yep, I’m with you, girl.
About seven years ago, she found her soulmate. My medium swears they’ve been together in many lifetimes. Of course, I have no idea if this is true or not, but it would not surprise me in the least.
My two youngest graduated within months of each other from University of Maryland and moved into Canton, one of those upcoming yuppie neighborhoods in Baltimore. They joined a coed adult soccer league and there he was, her soulmate.
Fast forward to getting engaged in 2010 on the beach in Phuket, Thailand followed by a family wedding weekend at a charming country inn in western Vermont in 2011. No Vera Wang dress or cathedral with 13 bridesmaids. A weekend dedicated to families bonding and celebrating the union of two beloved people.
With the impending birth announcement on Christmas Day, she also made it clear they had no plans to find out the gender and would not announce the chosen names before the birth.
Of course, I was the total opposite. I knew what the gender was and called the baby by name in utero for months before the birth. But it’s not about me...right?
When she was a teenager, she had a female doctor whose parents had named her Kevin. Chelsea thought this was rather different and she would consider naming a daughter that since that was also the name of the father she adored. She was barely 11 when he passed.
She and I talked or emailed practically every day for months. She sent names she was considering, going through the alphabet, a letter a day. She wanted to know what I thought of her choices, but also stated she was not vetoing a name if I didn’t like it.
Ask anyone in education....especially, someone who has been a teacher for years...if they like a certain name and you’ll get an earful. Please don’t name him Marcus, his family got evicted because he crawled through the heating ducts to spy on the neighbors. Or Cynthia, who got drunk on vodka in the school bathroom and threw up in the cafeteria.
Naturally, the name can’t be too popular or trendy. Possibly, it could be old school. What, like Mabel or Malcolm? Truly, I thought they would name it Soren, after her Danish heritage, or Brunhilda, his German heritage. I don’t know. I braced myself and knew even if I hated the name, I would adore this child.
And then there were the questions about what kind of birthing process I went through. Total Hell for the first one...a 26 hour labor with way too many drugs. Epidural for #2 and totally natural for #3. The totally natural one was by default since she was crowning when I asked for drugs.
She opted for a totally natural water birth with a midwife at a local hospital. First baby. Wow....very brave, very determined. One trait she has is resolve of steel. Must be her dad's genes.
The medium told me over a year ago that it would be a girl. When I mentioned that, my daughter looked at me like I had two heads.
On a Sunday morning, I got a call from her soulmate. “We’re on our way to the hospital.”
I quickly gathered a few things and headed out for the 40 minute ride to Baltimore, rushing upon arrival to the front desk where I reluctantly gave up my driver’s license and went up to her room. I expected to be waiting with her for hours during the labor. I was prepared with the Sunday paper and my Kindle.
I gently knock on the door, open it slightly and there is my girl, holding her tiny bundle, just minutes old.
“Oh, my God!” I exclaim. Her eyes fill with tears. “It’s a boy. Come meet Kevin.”
We both sob with joy. I am ecstatic they gave life to that name again. His first grandchild, his namesake.
I’m thinking to myself....the medium was WRONG!!??
This is beautiful!
ReplyDelete