Need a makeover? Well, yeah….at 66, who doesn’t? Delete the crow’s feet, slice off the wattle, stretch the crepe-y skin, get that tummy tuck that’s every celebrity’s must-have post pregnancy op and voila! you’re 30 again! At 30, I was a single mom, working and going to college full-time, self-medicating in a wholly unhealthy way. I’m not interested in being 30…66 is just fine with me.
But, the makeover is not about me, it’s all about the kitchen. It seems so easy, right? Just go on the Home Deport website, comparison shop for the appliances, pick the ones you want, and put it on the credit card. Free installation, delivery and remove the old hogger. Can it be any simpler???
First, the refrigerator comes. “Lady, I can’t install it because the the water line for the ice maker isn’t right behind the refrigerator.” BH points out that it’s in the cabinet under the sink and the line runs behind the refrigerator. “Nope, can’t do it.”
This is when I know I have Irish blood. I see this beautiful new refrigerator and ugly, moldy old one and they’re telling me they can’t take the old one and install the new one??!! I call his supervisor and she tells me I can install it myself…in a nice way. Okay, fine. They remove the old one, plug in the new one and we reconnect the water line. It only leaks for two days. Success.
Next, there’s the matter of the new gas stove. Grant you, gas is a little more complicated than plugging into the wall. The morning they come, I’m out of the house. No worries, BH is there. My last words, “Please make sure they take the old one.” Three hours later, I walk in the house and the old one’s still there and the new one’s taken up residency in the dining room. NOOOO!
BH tells me the installers are coming the next day and will take the old one. He’s skeptical and I’m downright cynical. I call again. They reassure me the old one will be removed.
This time, BH is out and I’m home alone when they appear. No warning call to say they’ll be there in 30 minutes, which allegedly is standard procedure. But, I let them in anyway. Is that smart? Of course not, but I’m desperate for a new stove that is self-cleaning, since the old one is probably 40 years old and has never been cleaned!
“Lady, you have no shut off valve.” Really? Who knew? “No problem, we’ll install one for another $75.” Ka-ching. Great. Mo money, mo money. “Where’s the gas meter?” Like I have any frigging idea!? “No worries, we’ll find it.” So, they look all over the basement and the outside of the house. The dark side of me is thinking: are they really looking for the meter or just casing the joint? “We found it in the back of the house.” Good. Next?
“Do you have a carbon monoxide detector?” Again, no clue. “We can install the range but you’re going to be inspected by the Washington Suburban Sanitary Commission so make sure you have one.” Magic words: “We can install the range.” That’s all I need to hear. I leap for joy as they haul away the old one!
I picked out ceramic tile flooring at HD and they measured last week. I paid $35 for them to measure, which will be deducted from the final cost of installation. When they call to give me the final estimate, it’s $600 more than the original one. I tell them I’m going to shop around some more. I’m out $35. Rats! BH tells me to try a local flooring store he used for carpets a few years ago. I check them out. Their estimate comes in $400 under HD’s. Different flooring but I like it better. They don’t charge for measuring. “You got me at hello.” I really like this guy. He gives me a card for a guy who just installed his new kitchen countertops. “He may not be the most organized, but you’ll save at least 50%.” Now, I’m in love.
I’m at the library writing this, while BH waits for the new over the range microwave to be delivered. Someone should call shortly for an installation time frame. They’re supposed to take the old one….I think. There’s always a little surprise in the small print.
I think I’m done with Home Depot. From now on, my money’s on the little guys!
Thursday, May 29, 2014
Tuesday, May 20, 2014
Post Plateau
It’s almost the Half Year mark since I wrote my New Year’s resolutions for 2014. There’s nothing unique about them….most have to do with fitness and diet. Duh….what’s new? So mundane, the sameness from year to year is nothing short of embarrassing.
Obviously, I haven’t made great progress if I’m still trying to lose the weight from my last pregnancy almost 30 years ago. Unfortunately, I haven’t given up red meat, French fries, wine and chocolate. Every year, I rededicate myself to staying on track. Every year, I swear I’m going to stop eating hot dogs at the Orioles games or confine myself to water at the movies. But, I cannot remember one time I’ve watched a movie without buttered popcorn! At least, I gave up cokes. Of course, what I should give up is wine!
Every now and then, I take a tape measure to check out my waistline and hips. Before Kids, I was a svelte 33-23-33. Ten inches between the waist and the hips! Geez, I salivate thinking about that. I live in fear of developing an apple-shaped body. Bigger waistline than hips. All the doctors caution against it. Not good for the heart. I took out the tape last week….I’ve added inches everywhere but there’s still five inches between the waist and the hips.
This year, I swore I would not give up. I got the digital scales, record every morsel of food and drink, every unit of exercise. LoseIt wants me on 985 calories a day. Really? Can anyone live on that?
The one thing I am good at is exercising daily…30, 40, 50, 60 minutes with strength training and core work. Every morning, I eat the same late morning breakfast: Plain fat-free yogurt, Kashi Go Lean Crunch, strawberries and blueberries. I drink a ton of water throughout the day into the night.
The problem is that by 5 in the afternoon, I’m famished! I’m reaching for the whole grain tortilla chips, the mixed nuts….trying to stay away from BH’s cache of ice cream bars and Cheetos. This is not easy for a girl who could live on junk food!
But, I am determined! I’ve working more fish into my diet. I love fried shrimp but I’m opting for grilled now. I love baked salmon and grilled swordfish! But, who can turn down a Costco steak cooked by BH? Amazing.
I weigh myself daily….first thing when I get up. It’s so discouraging sometimes. I feel like I’m not making any progress at all. Okay, baby steps. After five months in Florida, I had lost a grand total of 3 pounds. Three lousy pounds in five months??!!
And, then we arrived in Maryland. OMG!! I’ve lost three pounds in two weeks! Whoa….I’m hoping it’s not due to a life threatening disease.
I’m sure I know exactly what it is….no more daily 2 For 1 Happy Hours and sausage and chess flatbread apps.
I’m down to one glass of wine a week and quinoa and black bean salad pretty much daily. Eating out is hazardous for my waistline.
I struggled and struggled to get past this plateau….I’m loving getting up at 7:30 a.m and jumping on that scale! Ten more pounds to go!!!
Obviously, I haven’t made great progress if I’m still trying to lose the weight from my last pregnancy almost 30 years ago. Unfortunately, I haven’t given up red meat, French fries, wine and chocolate. Every year, I rededicate myself to staying on track. Every year, I swear I’m going to stop eating hot dogs at the Orioles games or confine myself to water at the movies. But, I cannot remember one time I’ve watched a movie without buttered popcorn! At least, I gave up cokes. Of course, what I should give up is wine!
Every now and then, I take a tape measure to check out my waistline and hips. Before Kids, I was a svelte 33-23-33. Ten inches between the waist and the hips! Geez, I salivate thinking about that. I live in fear of developing an apple-shaped body. Bigger waistline than hips. All the doctors caution against it. Not good for the heart. I took out the tape last week….I’ve added inches everywhere but there’s still five inches between the waist and the hips.
This year, I swore I would not give up. I got the digital scales, record every morsel of food and drink, every unit of exercise. LoseIt wants me on 985 calories a day. Really? Can anyone live on that?
The one thing I am good at is exercising daily…30, 40, 50, 60 minutes with strength training and core work. Every morning, I eat the same late morning breakfast: Plain fat-free yogurt, Kashi Go Lean Crunch, strawberries and blueberries. I drink a ton of water throughout the day into the night.
The problem is that by 5 in the afternoon, I’m famished! I’m reaching for the whole grain tortilla chips, the mixed nuts….trying to stay away from BH’s cache of ice cream bars and Cheetos. This is not easy for a girl who could live on junk food!
But, I am determined! I’ve working more fish into my diet. I love fried shrimp but I’m opting for grilled now. I love baked salmon and grilled swordfish! But, who can turn down a Costco steak cooked by BH? Amazing.
I weigh myself daily….first thing when I get up. It’s so discouraging sometimes. I feel like I’m not making any progress at all. Okay, baby steps. After five months in Florida, I had lost a grand total of 3 pounds. Three lousy pounds in five months??!!
And, then we arrived in Maryland. OMG!! I’ve lost three pounds in two weeks! Whoa….I’m hoping it’s not due to a life threatening disease.
I’m sure I know exactly what it is….no more daily 2 For 1 Happy Hours and sausage and chess flatbread apps.
I’m down to one glass of wine a week and quinoa and black bean salad pretty much daily. Eating out is hazardous for my waistline.
I struggled and struggled to get past this plateau….I’m loving getting up at 7:30 a.m and jumping on that scale! Ten more pounds to go!!!
Thursday, May 15, 2014
Principles Schminciples
So, here we are back in Maryland. Olney, to be exact. A small suburb of Washington, D.C. Small meaning no Target, Walmart, Costco, Home Depot. Not without shopping centers, just no big box stores. You’re probably thinking how quaint that would be in a monster metropolitan area.
Yeah, quaint, until I have to go to one of those places then I’m stuck in traffic jams that make me want to hop on the next plane back to Florida. Sure, I complain about the snow bird traffic….like I’m not one of them…lol. Or, the more senior than me drivers that require more patience than being a middle school teacher. But, all in all, I’ll take that over this!
And, then, there’s the Olney house vs. the Florida house. I know it’s just not fair to compare new construction to a 50 year old brick rancher. An open floor plan to the old chopped up into little rooms plan. All new furnishings albeit primarily from my go to Costco to a Lazy Boy man cave.
The original plan was for me to sell my house and, eventually, we would sell his house and move into Baltimore. Almost three years into it, I’m realizing that is not going to happen any time soon. The truth of the matter is the Olney house is cost efficient….something that is not wasted on me after almost having to declare bankruptcy if my house didn’t sell. Okay, that is such an exaggeration but who wants to throw away money on an empty house??
Last year, after we got back from Florida, BH threw open the door to the Olney house and almost called Goodwill to take everything away. Why didn’t I jump on that??!! Because he can’t. He’s a sentimental soul and loves his stuff. Instead, the cleaning out of closets and the garage shelves commenced. Because where the hell was I going to put my eight boxes, recliner and bookshelves left over from my former life?
He has principles. Does he ever! The kitchen appliances are left over almond from the 70s. Okay, he did replace the dishwasher a few years ago, I give him that. The gas oven takes 30 minutes to heat up; the refrigerator exterior is covered with rust and the freezer would be a field day for mold removers. But, here’s his point. They still work. Why replace something if it’s still working!? However, he did agree that the kitchen floor needed to be replaced.
I have principles. Why spend money on a house I’m not invested in? I had decided that when we came back I would just suck it up. He loves this place, so just let him enjoy it.
That worked for about a week….until I went online to Home Depot and started researching refrigerators, stoves, microwaves and tile flooring. On Tuesday, we hit the HD gardening center, loading up on annuals for the deck and the yard and, then, I showed him the refrigerator and stove I thought might work for us. Then, we agreed on the ceramic tile flooring.
He insisted on white appliances…not stainless steel that is the current rage. The ‘new’ dishwasher is white. Plus, the kitchen is dark and we need to lighten it up. The added bonus is that white appliances are at least $50 cheaper than the stainless steel models. And, do I really care if it’s stainless steel or white?? Good God, NO!!!
He reminded me on the way home, that this is against his principles. I told him I appreciated his flexibility. Of course, I’ve compromised my principles, too.
Principles, Schminciples! We’re getting a new kitchen! Woohoo!!!
Yeah, quaint, until I have to go to one of those places then I’m stuck in traffic jams that make me want to hop on the next plane back to Florida. Sure, I complain about the snow bird traffic….like I’m not one of them…lol. Or, the more senior than me drivers that require more patience than being a middle school teacher. But, all in all, I’ll take that over this!
And, then, there’s the Olney house vs. the Florida house. I know it’s just not fair to compare new construction to a 50 year old brick rancher. An open floor plan to the old chopped up into little rooms plan. All new furnishings albeit primarily from my go to Costco to a Lazy Boy man cave.
The original plan was for me to sell my house and, eventually, we would sell his house and move into Baltimore. Almost three years into it, I’m realizing that is not going to happen any time soon. The truth of the matter is the Olney house is cost efficient….something that is not wasted on me after almost having to declare bankruptcy if my house didn’t sell. Okay, that is such an exaggeration but who wants to throw away money on an empty house??
Last year, after we got back from Florida, BH threw open the door to the Olney house and almost called Goodwill to take everything away. Why didn’t I jump on that??!! Because he can’t. He’s a sentimental soul and loves his stuff. Instead, the cleaning out of closets and the garage shelves commenced. Because where the hell was I going to put my eight boxes, recliner and bookshelves left over from my former life?
He has principles. Does he ever! The kitchen appliances are left over almond from the 70s. Okay, he did replace the dishwasher a few years ago, I give him that. The gas oven takes 30 minutes to heat up; the refrigerator exterior is covered with rust and the freezer would be a field day for mold removers. But, here’s his point. They still work. Why replace something if it’s still working!? However, he did agree that the kitchen floor needed to be replaced.
I have principles. Why spend money on a house I’m not invested in? I had decided that when we came back I would just suck it up. He loves this place, so just let him enjoy it.
That worked for about a week….until I went online to Home Depot and started researching refrigerators, stoves, microwaves and tile flooring. On Tuesday, we hit the HD gardening center, loading up on annuals for the deck and the yard and, then, I showed him the refrigerator and stove I thought might work for us. Then, we agreed on the ceramic tile flooring.
He insisted on white appliances…not stainless steel that is the current rage. The ‘new’ dishwasher is white. Plus, the kitchen is dark and we need to lighten it up. The added bonus is that white appliances are at least $50 cheaper than the stainless steel models. And, do I really care if it’s stainless steel or white?? Good God, NO!!!
He reminded me on the way home, that this is against his principles. I told him I appreciated his flexibility. Of course, I’ve compromised my principles, too.
Principles, Schminciples! We’re getting a new kitchen! Woohoo!!!
Thursday, May 8, 2014
It's a Changing Day
Every morning, I watch the Dr. Phil Show, not because I particularly love Dr. Phil, although I do agree with him about 99% of the time. Mainly, I watch it because it keeps me occupied while I’m doing my walking and exercise videos. To me, exercise is BORING! Not for my Buff Honey. He loves it. Not only does he do his morning calisthenics and his 40 minute run, but he routinely walks at night. Why? Because he loves walking. I’m not kidding. Loves, loves, loves it!
What amazes me about Dr. Phil are the people who are willing to go on TV and share their craziness with the world. Whether it’s a controlling spouse, a butt-insky mother-in-law, or all about me diva, they are perfectly happy to share their bizarro world. Of course, Dr. Phil’s guests are sane compared to Dr. Judy or Jerry Springer.
My favorite line from Dr. Phil is in the show’s introduction: “This’ll be a changing day.” I like to think I’m all about change. I’ve always believed change is healthy….it keeps us on our toes, stretches us, thrusts us out of our comfort zones, makes life more challenging. What is life without growth?
The truth about me is that often I dread change. For years, my medium told me I was going to move. NOOOOOO! I don’t want to move. I love my home. I’ve lived in that community for over 25 years. I raised my children there; my best career years were right there in Columbia, Maryland. I couldn’t visualize not living there.
And, now, not only do I not live in Columbia, but I live a schizophrenic existence between Venice, Florida and Olney, Maryland. I love my Florida home but dread being away from my children and grandchildren. I’m not enamored of my Olney home but love sharing the lives of our families. So, it’s a trade-off. Okay, I can’t have it all. That’s my reality. And, yet, I’m deliriously happy both places.
This past winter in Maryland was like living in Buffalo, New York. HORRIBLE! Florida was my respite, yet I still had my Columbia house on the market and the winter was not kind to me. It’s not easy to get your house shown when ice covers the walkway and plumbing issues take it off the market for weeks. I found out the hard way how busy plumbers are during the worst of all winters!
The truth is I was so done with this house. When my real estate agent’s number showed up on my phone, I wouldn’t even answer it. I just let her leave her inevitable bad message and called back when I was in a better state of mind.
The third week in March, I finally got the message I had waited so long for. “I have a contract on your house.” YES! At this point, I didn’t even care about the sales price as long as I didn’t have to bring money to the table. Okay, that’s an exaggeration but I was definitely willing to settle for a fair deal, to get through the home inspection, to do whatever it took to get to the settlement table.
There were a couple of sleepless nights when I had to hire a structural engineer because the home inspector couldn’t certify that it was structurally sound. That about put me on drugs. But, it turned out to be the best $300 I ever spent.
We ended up going to settlement a week early. Thanks to the tech age we live in, I didn’t have to show up…just fed-exec my signed documents and they wired the money to my bank account.
April 17th. That’s the day the bleeding stopped. I’ve paid off everybody I owe. What a feeling of absolute freedom!
So, what am I doing to celebrate?! Well, I’m not going to Disney World. I’m going to Denmark. Yep, Denmark. I have never been to Europe. I’ve never traveled anywhere except Canada and the Caribbean. Seven of my Danish cousins and I are going to Copenhagen to walk where our grandfather walked.
Of course, I dread the flight and I’m worried about all the unknowns, but I know I’ll be fine once I get there. It’s a ‘changing day!’
What amazes me about Dr. Phil are the people who are willing to go on TV and share their craziness with the world. Whether it’s a controlling spouse, a butt-insky mother-in-law, or all about me diva, they are perfectly happy to share their bizarro world. Of course, Dr. Phil’s guests are sane compared to Dr. Judy or Jerry Springer.
My favorite line from Dr. Phil is in the show’s introduction: “This’ll be a changing day.” I like to think I’m all about change. I’ve always believed change is healthy….it keeps us on our toes, stretches us, thrusts us out of our comfort zones, makes life more challenging. What is life without growth?
The truth about me is that often I dread change. For years, my medium told me I was going to move. NOOOOOO! I don’t want to move. I love my home. I’ve lived in that community for over 25 years. I raised my children there; my best career years were right there in Columbia, Maryland. I couldn’t visualize not living there.
And, now, not only do I not live in Columbia, but I live a schizophrenic existence between Venice, Florida and Olney, Maryland. I love my Florida home but dread being away from my children and grandchildren. I’m not enamored of my Olney home but love sharing the lives of our families. So, it’s a trade-off. Okay, I can’t have it all. That’s my reality. And, yet, I’m deliriously happy both places.
This past winter in Maryland was like living in Buffalo, New York. HORRIBLE! Florida was my respite, yet I still had my Columbia house on the market and the winter was not kind to me. It’s not easy to get your house shown when ice covers the walkway and plumbing issues take it off the market for weeks. I found out the hard way how busy plumbers are during the worst of all winters!
The truth is I was so done with this house. When my real estate agent’s number showed up on my phone, I wouldn’t even answer it. I just let her leave her inevitable bad message and called back when I was in a better state of mind.
The third week in March, I finally got the message I had waited so long for. “I have a contract on your house.” YES! At this point, I didn’t even care about the sales price as long as I didn’t have to bring money to the table. Okay, that’s an exaggeration but I was definitely willing to settle for a fair deal, to get through the home inspection, to do whatever it took to get to the settlement table.
There were a couple of sleepless nights when I had to hire a structural engineer because the home inspector couldn’t certify that it was structurally sound. That about put me on drugs. But, it turned out to be the best $300 I ever spent.
We ended up going to settlement a week early. Thanks to the tech age we live in, I didn’t have to show up…just fed-exec my signed documents and they wired the money to my bank account.
April 17th. That’s the day the bleeding stopped. I’ve paid off everybody I owe. What a feeling of absolute freedom!
So, what am I doing to celebrate?! Well, I’m not going to Disney World. I’m going to Denmark. Yep, Denmark. I have never been to Europe. I’ve never traveled anywhere except Canada and the Caribbean. Seven of my Danish cousins and I are going to Copenhagen to walk where our grandfather walked.
Of course, I dread the flight and I’m worried about all the unknowns, but I know I’ll be fine once I get there. It’s a ‘changing day!’
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