A Long Way

“You’ve come a long way, baby.”  Remember that commercial?  If you’re younger than me which is most of the world, you won’t.  That phrase was from the late 60’s Virginia Slims commercial, which got vast play, encouraging women to smoke these long, slim cigarettes.  Of course, I was stupid enough to fall for it.  But, I will say it was superior to rolling my own tobacco.  The thought of doing that now makes me want to gag.

But, I was a product of my generation.  Raised in the 50s when the men worked and the women stayed home to raise children.  That didn’t work for a lot of women.  It never would’ve worked for me.  There were and still are a lot of dysfunctional families, including the one I was raised in.  As a child, I lived for the day I could leave my circumstances and go to college.

I loved school.  It was my safe haven.  I wasn’t brilliant nor particularly focused but learning brought me joy.  I like the challenge.  The day I was tapped into the National Honor Society is one I will never forget.  For the first time, I thought….well, maybe I am smart.  It changed the way I thought of myself.

From the time I was six years old, I knew I was going to college.  I have no idea where that came from.  No women in my family were college graduates.  But, I soldiered on, applied for admission in my senior high and was accepted.  My parents weren’t very encouraging and it was clear there was no money forthcoming.  When my guidance counselor learned I had been accepted, she called me into her office.  “What a waste,” she declared, “you’re only going there to find a husband.”

Today, she probably would’ve been fired but, back then, pretty common.  But, I will say that ridiculous statement was nothing if not motivating for me.  I was determined to make it.  Whatever that meant.  Women were secretaries, nurses or teachers.  None of those options appealed to me then so I I majored in something that was challenging and esoteric:  Philosophy.
Oh yeah, lots of jobs out there in the 70s for women in philosophy.

Maybe the guidance counselor was right….maybe I was looking for that knight in shining armor riding on that white horse.  The overwhelming majority of women did get married right out of college, me included….the day after I graduated as a matter of fact.  In fact, my favorite religion professor, also an Episcopal priest, married us.  I was so focused on getting my degree, I never thought beyond that.  What would I do?  Who was I?  What did I want out of life?  What was my purpose?

Obviously, I had no plan.  I stumbled in and out of jobs, relationships, places to live.  I was active in the National Organization of Women.  I went to rallies and marches, believing I was doing the right thing to open up possibilities for women and men.  I raised my oldest daughter on Free to Be You and Me.  I love, love, love those songs and lyrics, even now.

I went to assertiveness training.  Yes, I did that.  I was raised in the South.  Speaking up wasn’t easy for me.  I had to unlearn all the scripts.

I have loved politics since watching JFK’s exciting campaign and election.  I used to stay up and watch the conventions on TV, long before the days of cable.  A time where things were actually decided at the convention.  I attended the National Women’s Conference in Houston in 1977.  It inspired me to attend seminars on bringing more women into politics.  I wanted to be the strategist, the organizer….never the ‘talent.’

In my early 30s, I immersed myself in the world of local politics in Connecticut.  I learned the strategizing, the organizing.  I was a spokesperson on urban education, speaking at conferences, rallies, the state legislature.  I wrote my dissertation on the impact of grassroots politics.

And then I quit.  I married the man who covered me for the local newspaper.  We moved to Maryland and had two more children.  No regrets.  It was one of the best decisions I ever made.  By the time I left, I was drowning in politics.  There is no life in politics.  It’s a 24/7, never ending, thankless job.

It’s a job that requires non-stop fundraising and benefactors.  It’s difficult to maintain independence and integrity, especially at the national level.  I admire Barney Sanders and Elizabeth Warren; they’re truly swimming against the current.

But, the truth is we have come a long way, baby.  When I graduated from college in 1969, there were 10 women in the House and one woman in the Senate.  The 113th Congress has a record breaking 102 women.  This Senate has 20 women, 40% of the body.  Only 19% of the House is female.

Politics is a tough road.  I admire the women in Congress who have taken it.  They’re the ones getting things done….introducing bipartisan legislation, forging compromises, passing more legislation in the Senate than their male colleagues.  They’ve moving more bills out of committee and having them enacted.  However, they still struggle to achieve top positions within Congress.  There’s that pervasive glass ceiling.

One day that will change.  I hope I’m around to see it!