The Good Ole Days

It’s a lazy Sunday afternoon here in Olney.  Renovations on the bathroom and kitchen have been finalized so here we are sitting in our non-matching recliners….our Ma and Pa Kettle chairs I affectionately call them.  Of course, we’re glued to the Orioles game and the PGA tournament.

I’m sitting here thinking how much I love this guy and how I absolutely do not miss my former life.  The life I had before Buff Honey sat across me from the bridge table.  Yes, I could take care of myself.  Yes, I had a full network of friends.  True, I had a satisfying albeit stressful job.

I remember those days when I went back online to try to find that companion I was missing.  I have never had any success online ever.  But, there are tons of happy couples who have met and, evidently, found their true loves.  I remember telling myself ‘I am NOT going to have a negative attitude; I am the ultimate optimist.’

I started perusing/cruising online dating sites...I experimented with one I’d never used before, probably because I wasn’t old enough back then.  I discovered there were many sites for the older set, so I put up a profile.

James...Omaha, Nebraska...hit on me right away.  I looked at his profile...professional, nice looking, fat income, educated widower, loves God.  I waited a day or two and sent a brief email back.

This is the response word for word:

“Thanks for the mail...I am so happy to read from you..How are you and How is your day going?...Hmmm you have a nice and sincere profile and I would love to get to know you..I am James Michael Collins by name...I have lived in Nebraska for 21 years and am formerly from Washington. I love to Travel. I’m white Caucasian. I am an Irish was born in (Ireland)..I lost my parent in Ireland..I lost my Dad when I was young at the age of 17 years old and three years later I lost my mom and it’s was very hard for me then..I went to University of Oxford in Oxford..I came to US when I was 22 to Settle down,In the state of Florida.

 I am 62 yrs old, I am a widower, I have two children. Rachael and Patrick, unfortunately I lost my daughter 4 years ago she was 28 years then and now left with my only son.He is my life.His name is Patrick,he is 16 years old.I have a kind heart and I have a lot of love in my heart to give it to my beloved woman.I am an optimist and do hope that one day I will see a smile that will fill my life with sunny rays of happy family life.Mornings can be spent like two birds in the same bath splashing about,there is a lot more to my heart..I am intelligent, honest and good heart man. I have great sense of humor, respectfully treating a female in equal rights,..I do not smoke neither drink nor take drugs. I own a business which is my joy and passion for the past 10 years but would love to take time to meet someone special in order to build a lifelong romance..I am a Building Construction/Craft man. I am looking for a woman to love and be loved in honesty, faithfulness, caring and giving.  I realize that may be a lot to ask for. I recite poems and poetry for fun when I am less busy. I believe that we were not meant to go through life alone.I am willing to relocate to my perfect match.I guess you never really know where the right person will be. I don’t think distance should be an obstacles in a relationship...I’d like to know everything! Your likes, dislikes, what makes you angry, what makes you sad, happy.  What do you do work...You sound interesting and a caring woman. Hope to read from you. Take Care and Good Night.
Kisses and Hugs,
Cheers,
James…"

Writes just like an Oxford graduate, right????!!!  I mention him to my daughter.  I think you should google him, she says.

I do....James Michael Collins Omaha Nebraska...
Nothing in the White Pages...mmmmm

But something does appear in DATING SCAMMERS!!!

A post appears that warns the reader of a James Michael Collins in Omaha...here’s the excerpt that appears...

‘Life has been so beautiful for me until four years ago, when I lost my wife and only daughter, I couldn’t bear it.  I need a wonderful woman to spend the rest of my life with, I hope we can start something strong and true.’

The Irishman, James Michael Collins, is actually Nigerian ...eventually, he wants your money.

Obviously, he didn’t get that far.  I wrote back:  YOU F-ING SCAMMER, DON’T YOU EVER CONTACT ME AGAIN.

Of course, that was just the beginning.  I am the eternal optimist and I did not give up for quite some time….at least, until my bridge partner became my great friend and life partner.  As Carly Simon reminded us in the 70s, “These are the good ole days!”  ‘Nuff said.