Going Rogue

In the Era of Trump, lunacy has no boundaries.  God knows, he sets a high bar.  I rarely watch the “news.”  Really, don’t we all know it’s going to be more insane than the previous day?!
But, I do read the paper and there are times that I just have to shake my head.

Case in point.  Today’s headline in Florida: “Bovine Herd Helps Police Corral Suspect.”  Yep.  A herd of 16 cows helped police officers apprehend a fleeing suspect who bailed out of a car and ran through a pasture.

A sheriff’s helicopter happened to capture the incident on video.  A crew passed along this choice nugget to the pursuing officers:  “If you see a large group of cows, they’re literally following her.”  Eventually, the cows ran the woman into a fence where the arresting officers nabbed her.  Carl Hiaasen?  Remember Razor Girl?  Bet he could spin one helluva tale on our Cow Girl.

Then, there’s today’s headline in Bluffton, South Carolina.  Literally, 20 minutes from Hilton Head.  “Woman Tells Police She’s a ‘Clean, Thoroughbred, White Girl”. Really?  Sounds a bit white trashy to me.  This 32 year old with her glassy and bloodshot eyes was caught speeding through a stop sign.

She told the officer she shouldn’t be jailed because she was a cheerleader, a dancer and a sorority girl who graduated from a “high accredited university.”  Taken to the police station in handcuffs, she described herself as a white “thoroughbred” and “I’m a white, clean girl,” according to the officer’s report.

Only in the Era of Trump.  Makes me want to see Blackkklansman as soon as possible.  How proud could that “highly accredited university” be of their infamous alumna!?

But, I must admit I had a few crazy adventures in my younger days.  One of the craziest happened on my way to the Watkins Glen Concert in July, 1973.  I was living in Connecticut and had missed Woodstock so I was determined to get to the Watkins Glen Raceway in upstate New York.  My favorite band, The Allman Brothers, was the headliner.  Not missing this.

My friend, Carl, agreed to drive his VW….what else would he drive in the early 70s?  We started out early morning, getting into heavy traffic in New York state.  Everybody else evidently decided this was the thing to do.  I obviously had no idea what the traffic would be like when 600,000 people are descending on the same little town.

The traffic is barely moving so I had the bright idea to drive on the shoulder.  Carl was only too happy to comply and we drove up this hill and on the other side was this larger than life local cop.  Think Jackie Gleason as Sheriff Buford in Smokey and the Bandit.

“YOU!” (pointing at us) “OVER HERE” (right next to him).  This is definitely not a good development.  He ambles over to Carl’s driver side and asks for his license and registration.  As he’s getting his license, he whispers to me:  “green card under the dope.”  You didn’t this we were sober, did you?

In less than a second, I open up the glove box, grab the registration and slam it shut.  He looks them over and asks, “Where you goin’?

I look up at the exit ramp sign.  “Oh, we were just getting off here to go to Wappingers Falls.”

“Oh, yeah, I live in Wappingers Falls.  So, where you goin’?”

“We’re goin’ to your house, “ I counter.
“Gotcha!!”  Well, duh….of course, he knew exactly where we were going, but we all got a laugh as he wrote up our ticket.  Phew….that was a close one.  A ticket trumps an arrest any day.

All in all, I shake my head when these nutty stories make the news, but I’ve gone rogue a few times back in the day.  Never claimed to be a “thoroughbred, clean, white girl.”  I know I’m a mutt!