Finally Floridian

Of course, I was born in Florida so I really am a native Floridian.  But, now I am a legit Floridian.  Not easy...not cheap!

I’ve been living in the state since January 1st.  Happy New Year to me!!!  It was always my intent to change my residence status.  Living here for six months and a day...essentially becoming a snowbird...was the plan.

The first week in January was filled with sunny, 80 degree beach days.  Buff Honey and I spent hours languishing in our beach chairs poring over newspapers and Randy Wayne White mysteries.  The perfect life.

Then, all hell broke loose!  He bought a house and we were propelled into hours of research on furniture, dishes, rugs, cooking utensils, garden tools....you name it, we didn’t have it.  We are now experts in “Cheap.”  We are Executive members of Costco.  We are known at Walmart, Big Lots, Goodwill, Home Goods and every other discount or consignment store within a 20 mile radius of Venice.

It wasn’t until March that I actually went online to see what I had to do to get a Florida driver’s license and to change my car registration.  The first red flag was all this had to be done within the first 10 days of moving.  Oh dear, I’ve broken the law already.

Then, I looked at the requirements.  I needed a social security card.  I don’t think I’ve had one since I was 20 years old.  Ahhhh....but I could bring my 1099 from the Feds which shows my SS number.  Check.

I also needed to bring two pieces of mail with my new residence on it.  Okay, fine.  I could bring my bank statement and my Maryland Retirement statement.  But, within 10 days of moving???  Plus, I moved twice within six weeks.  I have no rental agreement or utility bill.  This is not going to be easy.

Maybe, registering the car would be easier.  Nope.  No deal until I get a Florida license.  What else do I have to do?  I have to get car insurance in Florida.  My Maryland insurance will not transfer.  What???  Like I said, ‘not easy, not cheap.’  I swallow hard and lay out the cash for new car insurance.

I call the old insurance company.  No, they will not change my policy until I return the plates.  But, of course.  Now, I’m paying for two policies.  Great.

I need the title to the car.  I drag myself out to the car to see if it’s out there.  I have two rather distinct personalities.  Sometimes, I am incredibly organized.  I clean out my closet every year, sometimes twice a year.  I do not hang onto things I don’t use.  I really try to have order in my life.

My other personality is, sad to say, just clueless.  I have lost my cell phone countless times, once in a toilet bowl....don’t ask.  I lose keys, papers, books.  I don’t know what happens.  They just get swallowed up in a black hole.
With great trepidation, I look in the glove department to see which Brenda was in charge the day the title came in.  Woohoo!!!  Under all the Jiffy Lube receipts and roadmaps, I found it!  Thank God!  One less hoop to jump through.

I’m running out of time here.  Only two weeks until my return to Maryland.  I gather up all my papers and take them to the Sarasota County Tax Office.

The clerk asks me for my driver’s license, which I proudly hand over.  Then, she asks me for my birth certificate or passport.  WHAT???!!!  How did I miss that on the website? She hands me the blue flyer that lists the requirements and right there at the very top is Certified U.S. birth certificate or U.S passport.

Back to the drawing board.  Naturally, I have neither one of those things with me.  I immediately text my son...you know your kids are not going to the answer a phone call...”Call me ASAP.”  I know he’s teaching his math class, but he calls me in a great panic because he thinks I’m lying half dead at the side of a road or some other catastrophic scenario.

Okay, I know I scared him but sometimes that’s the only way you can get their attention, right??  Anyway, after he calms down, I tell him what I need.  I call him again after he gets home and he finds it exactly where I left it....again, the organized personality prevails!!

 I ask him what the expiration date is.  He says it’s expired.  NOOOOO!!!!  “Just kidding,” he says.  I want to kill him.  But, I need him to FedEx it to me....which he does.

I gather all my documents and return.  I’ve been thinking, “How am I going to explain that it’s April 18th and I’ve been here since January 1st?”  Not even close to the 10 day mark.  But, she doesn’t ask.  I hand her my license, my passport and my two pieces of mail.  Everything’s in order.

“Have you looked at the address from your Maryland Retirement statement?”  I look and there it is addressed to me at:  1988 Hammock Road, Venice, MD 34292.  I don’t even see it at first.  OMG!!!  It says Maryland, not Florida.

“Sorry, I have to get this approved by my supervisor.  You know how strict Florida is about issuing licenses to new residents.”

I’m dying here.  I can hear them talking in low tones about the address.  Finally, she reappears.  “You’re all set,” she says.

They take the required horrible photo; somehow, I pass the vision test, I pay them an exorbitant amount of money and I walk out of there with my Florida license and car registration.

Finally, I’m LEGIT!!!