Who am I? Ever asked yourself that? I’ve been asking that question since the day I was conscious, I believe. I think it’s probably the most difficult question to answer. Yes, I could answer, “I’m a mom” or “I’m an educator” or “I’m a bridge player.” But, these are artificial responses. Who am I really? Who is my True Self?
I think the answer lies in the question, Why are we here? What is our calling? Our mission? I always thought my adulthood was all about overcoming my childhood. But, now I’m not sure. I think we’re here to return to what we were before we came back here. I think it’s related to being our God-ly selves….who we are when we are most whole.
I believe we are each a piece of God. We are part of God and God is part of us. Maybe God is not the right word. Maybe, it’s the Source of All Things. Maybe, it’s Love. Maybe, it’s a term that is so much vaster than we can imagine, we have no way of explaining it in its fullest sense.
What is prayer? Is it getting on our knees before going to bed and asking for what we want or asking for forgiveness? It can be. But, I think it’s more. I think it’s our heart’s intention. I think it’s a silent meditation anywhere or at anytime. I think it’s waking up grateful for another day. For me, just walking on the beach is a form of prayer.
Wouldn’t life be grand if we could live in our truest spiritual selves? That was certainly on my bucket list when I retired….work out daily, write honestly, read anything I wanted to and reflect and find my spiritual self. Ahhh….live in that perpetual nirvana-like state.
And, there’s the true struggle. Staying there. Well, I have to accept that’s just not reality. At least, for me yet. After all, we’re still in our physical bodies and dealing with humanity everywhere we turn.
I flare up at myself when I think about how I stayed longer than I should’ve in a relationship with a serial cheater. What was I thinking??? My blood pressure rises when I’m stuck behind someone driving 55 mph in a 70 mph zone on Interstate 75. I’m appalled that a 60 year old driver plowed into the front of the Venice Meat Market last week. One more Obamacare negative political ad from Florida Governor Rick Scott and I’m gonna scream!
I work out for an hour daily and watch what I eat and I’m still not losing enough weight. My empty house was on the market for months during the worst winter ever incurring costs I certainly never planned on. i grieve for all the families who have lost loved ones to gun violence or unnecessary wars.
Yep. It’s a struggle to stay in that zone of serenity. So, here’s what I think. Focus on the positive. Sure, everyone has issues but there is so much beauty.
Look at your children and just envelope yourself in the joy they bring you. Watch a sunset. Take a hike in the mountains. Is there anything like the fragrance of a magnolia in bloom or the taste of a home grown tomato? How satisfying to finish a great book or to hear a grandchild’s first word!
Is there anything more significant in our lives than who you love or who loves you? Love yourself for being the beautiful person you are with all your idiosyncrasies and foibles.
I think we are constantly reinventing ourselves and trying to move closer to our True Selves. Live in Joy. You are completely surrounded!
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