We were Methodist until the summer, when we attended the Baptist Vacation Bible School. For two weeks, we got on that ramshackle school bus that took us to and from the Pine Castle Baptist Church. Lots of crafts, songs, games, I loved it. On the last day, there was a grand assembly in the Baptist Church which all the parents and assorted townspeople attended. I was only five years old the first time I went and clearly unschooled in Baptist rituals.
Each child was called forward to the altar and the preacher hollered, “ARE YOU SAVED?” Of course, they answered in the affirmative and he dunked their heads in a tank of water. When it was my turn, I looked at him and responded in a puzzled voice, “Saved from what?” The congregation erupted. I was completely confused by the whole scene.
And, thus, began my retreat from religion. I was raised in the Bible Belt which held what most would consider the most racist and misogynistic views in the entire country. How does that jibe with “Love one another” or “Above all, love each other deeply.” Or “Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above ourselves.” What I witnessed was black people dominated by white people and segregated by Jim Crow laws. What I witnessed were men in all the power positions, while ladies were expected to be submissive. The church provided the foundation for this culture.
If you didn’t toe the line, you were going to rot in hell. I could never square the lessons of love with the lessons of hate, hellfire and damnation. It just made no sense to me.
So, I majored in religion and philosophy, where I studied all the world religions and read the works of the greatest theologians, although I think I was way too young to truly assimilate it all.
But it certainly altered my world view. I believed there were many enlightened prophets. And, although there are multiple religions, there are certain tenets that hold true for all of them. They believe in leading an ethical life, being part of a community centered in love and striving to do good works.
Unfortunately, belief in a religion creates tension in the world that can lead to war. It is sadly evident all over the globe today. It is no guarantee against the most egregious abuse toward children and women. What has happened in the Catholic and Southern Baptist communities is reprehensible. How many lives have been upended due to the lack of accountability of these so called spiritual leaders?
And, yet, I did choose to attend the Episcopal Church with my husband and younger children. It did give them a loving community that supported them through the tough days after their father died. Being in the church reinforced the ethical values we espoused. The healing rituals affected me profoundly when I was caring for him as his health faded.
And, yet, it’s so much greater than what we know, my uncle acknowledged in a reading shortly after he passed. He was a devout Catholic. Then, there’s my mother who was the world’s leading authority on religion. Until she passed last year. Now, what does she say? “There is no religion.”
A couple of weeks ago, I came across a writer, Roland Merullo, who I have fallen in love with. I finished Breakfast With Buddha last week. Now, I’m having Lunch With Buddha and, in a week or so, I’ll savor Dinner With Buddha. An editor of food books who lives in New York and a skeptic, reluctantly goes onto a road trip with Volya Rinpoche, a Siberian monk. I haven’t read a book that made me laugh out loud in years and, yet, brought me back to the significance of meditation and tuning in to life’s lessons.
It’s all an evolution, right?
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